English can be really complex

English can be so complex to understand sometimes! Read the paragraph
below... and try to understand the meaning.

"Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a
sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of
which was unspecified.

One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage
to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently
the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation
oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member."

ANY GUESSES WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?

If you find it difficult to comprehend scroll below for the answer:

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after! :) :) :)

Village English

Bholaji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.This is what transpires :

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"

By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Bholaji teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.

The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : "Bholaji what nonsense are you telling these students "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Bholaji : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spelling of ASSASSINATION. ASS - ASS - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH)

American's expectations- Japanese Perfection :)

A computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000.

When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter.

"We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices.

But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment.

Hope this pleases you."

Think out of box

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round.....


No one will GET second chance to impress....

Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...

Question 1:

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:


An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."


Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Question 3 : Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.
You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet)
Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet) Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question 5 : Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.

So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6:

The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. ..........


This is What is what is expected from all of us "THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"

Cupcakes and Rootbeer

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with cupcakes, several cans of root beer and started on his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he saw an elderly woman. She was sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed the lady looked hungry so he offered her a cupcake. She gratefully accepted and smiled at him.

Her smile was so wonderful that he wanted to see it again, so he offered a root beer as well. Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!

They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling without saying a word.

As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and wanted to go home. He got up to leave but before he had gone no more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to the old woman, giving her a big hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy arrived home his Mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked, What has made you so happy today He replied, I had lunch with God. Before his mother could respond he added, You know what She’s got the most beautiful smile in the whole world!

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face. He asked, Mother, what has made you so happy today She replied, I ate cupcakes in the park with God. And before her son could reply, she added, You know, he is much younger than I expected.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Take no one for granted and embrace all equally with joy!

Touchy feely': Article by Chetan Bhagat

I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn't if she weren't there. And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.
My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else.
What was it?
Why? Why? Why?
Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything...not very touchy feely'.
Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It's time to set the record straight.
It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulae, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.
Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing. Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man.
So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there.
Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely... oops, I mean coffee/tea?'
She giggled. When they giggle, you have won.

For friends forever

Is pal pe likhta hoon choti si ek kavita..

Yaad aayega sabko ke ek saal me kya-kya bita..

Ek acchaa job mil jaye sabke dil me thi yeh aas..

Bande jaate the walk-in me ban-than ke ekdum jhakaas..

Hamesha dhoonda karte koi ladki hain kya aas-paas..

Roz kiya karte the wo apti,C, Unix ya koi aur bakwaas..

Par nothing can beat the 'Analysis of Algorithms' ka trash !!!

Har walk in mein socha karte ke job mil jaye aaj..

Kal nahi soya to kya hua so jaaunga main job mil jane ke baad..

Har ek round k results ke liye kitne hote hum bekaraar..

Din bhar tension me karte results ka intezaar..

Sabka dil diya karta tha bas yehi ek pukaar..

Ke is baar to ho jaye apni naiyya paar !!!

Yaad hain mujhe kuch mere wo khushnaseeb yaar..

Jinka roz hua karta walk-in me sweet-sweet pyaar..

Duniya se chupte-chupate roz karte dil ka izhaar..

Aur poocha to kehte ' We're just friends yaar ' !!!

Aakhir aa hi gayi hum sab ki bichadne ki baari..

Koi gaya MNC me to kisi ne shaadi karke jindagi savari..

Sab kaam pe lag gaye ek-ek..baari-baari..

Bas reh gayi apni yaadein khatti-meethi pyaari-pyaari !!!

Ab bhi yaad aati hain mujhe wo " Results out " ki pukaar..

Dil me hain jo baat keh deta hoon ek baar..

Tum jahan bhi ho doston..yaad aaoge baar baar..